Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
