Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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