it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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