just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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