Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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