If i come over, it means nothing
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
