life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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