you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
