Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
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Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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