im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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