Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
