we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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