After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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