So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize