Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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