this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just googled if crying burns calories
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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