i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
