It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
