Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize