i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
