So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
smell my finger.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
