Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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