Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
