That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
