Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
