is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
