I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
