I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize