do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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