Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
