Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just google imaged poop.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
