That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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