My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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