he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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