he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
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I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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