is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
