ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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