We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Randomize
