I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
