So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
