Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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