I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
