Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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