mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
