that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
