are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
