i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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