Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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