Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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