You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
