OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"