Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby

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  (631): there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby http://tfl.nu/vnsn
  Replies (13) Good night (811) Bad night (2205)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.

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  (630): If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries. http://tfl.nu/qapc
  Replies (26) Good night (4390) Bad night (776)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.

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  (703): Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out. http://tfl.nu/rmo5
  Replies (7) Good night (3348) Bad night (975)
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  (716): View more from New York

  can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that

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  (716): can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that http://tfl.nu/z1zg
  Replies (5) Good night (678) Bad night (3638)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before

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  (518): I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before http://tfl.nu/9107
  Replies (20) Good night (5310) Bad night (1227)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.

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  (210): Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16. http://tfl.nu/i5l7
  Replies (20) Good night (1072) Bad night (4432)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent

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  (301): Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent http://tfl.nu/21ar
  Replies (8) Good night (3243) Bad night (1738)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic

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  (410): I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic http://tfl.nu/vj3a
  Replies (4) Good night (2618) Bad night (665)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...

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  (770): Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well... http://tfl.nu/5d08
  Replies (3) Good night (1930) Bad night (582)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?

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  (989): Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics? http://tfl.nu/kwmb
  Replies (10) Good night (2914) Bad night (732)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

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  (913): Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately http://tfl.nu/v1vv
  Replies (8) Good night (1571) Bad night (554)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level

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  (603): i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level http://tfl.nu/sciw
  Replies (4) Good night (398) Bad night (1113)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.

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  (202): I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone. http://tfl.nu/ocz4
  Replies (17) Good night (931) Bad night (1125)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

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  (757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8
  Replies (0) Good night (704) Bad night (325)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

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  (518): Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/sw9x
  Replies (2) Good night (1058) Bad night (267)

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