Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

(1-917): View more from New York City

you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

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(917): so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center (1-917): you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth http://tfl.nu/ukvm

Replies (78) Good night (15603) Bad night (1020)
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(917): View more from New York City

Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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(917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him http://tfl.nu/5c6r

Replies (144) Good night (17848) Bad night (3040)
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(408): View more from California

his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out

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(408): his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out http://tfl.nu/n59r

Replies (10) Good night (993) Bad night (4228)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.

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(614): Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce. http://tfl.nu/e1yj

Replies (10) Good night (4213) Bad night (895)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.

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(402): I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really. http://tfl.nu/wq20

Replies (13) Good night (1397) Bad night (813)
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(914): View more from New York

He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List

(914): View more from New York

Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)

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(914): He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List (914): Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired) http://tfl.nu/bfp9

Replies (28) Good night (1864) Bad night (950)
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(407): View more from Florida

And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.

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(407): And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know. http://tfl.nu/l7lp

Replies (5) Good night (1238) Bad night (483)
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(718): View more from New York

this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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(718): this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican http://tfl.nu/utxh

Replies (27) Good night (596) Bad night (1527)
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(585): View more from New York

So stoned i forgot i was in bed

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(585): So stoned i forgot i was in bed http://tfl.nu/69t5

Replies (1) Good night (1017) Bad night (451)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.

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(773): Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass. http://tfl.nu/m2gp

Replies (6) Good night (1415) Bad night (585)
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(409): View more from Texas

My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.

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(409): My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty. http://tfl.nu/rx6s

Replies (2) Good night (832) Bad night (355)
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(561): View more from Florida

It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.

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(561): It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment. http://tfl.nu/pafa

Replies (5) Good night (798) Bad night (328)
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(425): View more from Washington

Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people

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(425): Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people http://tfl.nu/m00z

Replies (8) Good night (876) Bad night (520)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear

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(617): He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear http://tfl.nu/svv0

Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (294)
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(313): View more from Michigan

YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.

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(313): YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you. http://tfl.nu/1elk

Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (262)

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