Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"