Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral