We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
