i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
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he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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