i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
