Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
