I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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