i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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