Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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