Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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