Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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