Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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