Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
