Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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