I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wannas sexs uuuuu
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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