absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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